Interview With The Araluens
by WriterAtHeart2
Summary: Starring me, as the interviewer and the Araluens. Short interviews with the main characters. *ON HOLD*
1. Halt

**Please enjoy and tell me what you think of it in a review. Gilan's interview will be next.**

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_Halt's Interview_

Me: Hello, Mr. Halt.

Halt: Can I have coffee?

Me: Er...can it wait? We have an interview to get through.

Halt: All right. Get on with the questions.

Me: *clears throat* Mr. Halt, do you sometimes wish you were taller?

Halt: *glares* Maybe.

Me: Um...do you have any secrets you'd like to share with the world?

Halt: If they were secrets, I wouldn't share them, now would I?

Me: What do you think of Will, your apprentice? Is he fun to be around? Annoying?

Halt: Will is annoying, no doubt. He has too many questions.

Me: Are you thinking of retiring as a Ranger?

Halt: Not in a million years.

Me: Wouldn't you be dead in a million years?

Halt: Maybe.

Me: Is there anything you can think of that is more important than being a Ranger?

Halt: Coffee. Speaking of coffee, do you have any?


	2. Gilan

**And I'm back with Gilan's interview! Enjoy and review! **

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_Gilan's Interview_

Me: Hello, Gilan.

Gilan: Hello, person-I-don't-know.

Me: *feels insulted* Just call me Interviewer.

Gilan: Right.

Me: So Gilan, got any confessions? Secrets?

Gilan: Yeah.

Me: Spill the beans.

Gilan: I'm good a cooking.

Me: Uh...anything else?

Gilan: I like to draw.

Me: Would you really consider that as a secret or confession?

Gilan: Yep.

Me: *sighs* Really, Gilan.

Gilan: Fine, fine. I...I...I...like Jenny.

Me: *fist punches the air* YEESSSS! Do you hear that, America? Gilan from Araluen likes Jenny!

Gilan: Shut up or I'll punch you in the face. I've done that before, you know.

Me: DID YOU HEAR THAT, PEOPLE? Gilan from Araluen has punched somebody before!

Gilan: Oh, yeah, loads of times.

Me: DID YOU HEAR THAT, AMERICA? Gilan from Araluen says he—

Gilan: Didn't I tell you to shut up?

Me: Maybe.

Gilan: Got any coffee?

Me: Why are YOU asking questions? I'm the interviewer!

Gilan: Because you ask dumb questions that make no sense.

Me: Like your questions are any better.

Gilan: I feel insulted.

Me: That was the point.

Gilan: Can I leave now? This interview thingy is boring... *yawns*

Me: DID YOU HEAR THAT, AMERICA? Gilan from Araluen just yawned!

Gilan: Could you stop commenting on every movement I make?

Me: DID YOU HEAR THAT, AMERICA? Gilan from Araluen just said, 'Could you stop commenting on every move—

Gilan: SHUT UP! I wasn't kidding when I said I was going to punch you!

Me: *ducks under nearby table* Did you hear that, Araluen? Gilan from Araluen is about to punch me!

Gilan: *punches me*

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**I hope I at least made you chuckle :)**


	3. Will

**And now it's time for Will's interview!**

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_Will's Interview_

Me: Welcome, Mr. Will.

Will: Wouldn't I be Mr. Treaty? Because 'Will' isn't my—

Me: Ahem. What do think of Halt? Do you look up to him? Do you dislike him?

Will: Halt? He's epic!

Me: Explain what you mean by 'epic'.

Will: *rummages through dictionary* Definition of 'epic': A long poem, typically derived from oral tradition, narrating the deeds an adventures of heroic or legendary figures of the history of, relating to, or characteristic of an epic or epics.

Me: Um...so, what you're saying is that Halt is a long poem, typically derived from oral tradition, narrating the deeds an adventures of heroic or legendary figures of the history of, relating to, or characteristic of an epic or epics?

Will: *nods head* Basically.

Me: So, besides being a long poem, typically derived from oral tradition, narrating the deeds an adventures of heroic or legendary figures of the history of, relating to, or characteristic of an epic or epics, how else can you describe Halt?

Will: I guess Halt is not able to be defeated or exceeded in a contest or commercial market, or extremely good; outstanding. So basically, insurmountable, or unconquerable.

Me: Could you speak English?

Will: I'm not speaking English? What am I speaking? Wait, am I speaking Japanese? Oh, no! What's happening to me? I don't even know I could speak Japanese but...wait, am I speaking Japanese or not?

Me: *shakes head* Never mind. Halt was right; you ask to many questions.

Will: Halt said that?

Me: Yes. *clears throat* Back to the interview. Are you afraid of anything?

Will: Snakes. They scare me.

Me: I already know they scare you, because I asked, 'Are you afraid of anything?' which meant I was asking just that. So I already know that you're scared of snakes. You didn't have to say it again.

Will: Say what?

Me: Never mind. Next question: are there times where you wish you were somebody else?

Will: Actually, yes. Sometimes I wish I wasn't a Ranger.

Halt: *pops out from backstage* How could you, Will? *starts sobbing*

Me: *shoves Halt's backstage* ANYWAY, Will, do you ever have nightmares?

Will: No. Having nightmares is immature.

Me: *raises eyebrows* Really?

Will: Yep.

Me: Are you telling the truth? I can go get Halt to make—

Will: Okay, fine. I still have nightmares.

Me: About what?

Will: Skandia.

Me: Ohhh. Would you like to tell the world anything important?

Will: Yes.

Me: Go right on ahead.

Will: *clears throat* I like cookies!

Me: Um...I said something _important..._

Will: But liking cookies is important!

Me: No, it isn't.

Will: Do you have coffee?

Me: WHAT IS WITH THE RANGERS AND THEIR COFFEE?


	4. Horace

_Horace's Interview_

Me: Hi, Mr. Horace.

Horace: Hi.

Me: Do you know why Rangers love coffee so much?

Horace: No. Should I?

Me: *sighs* Never mind. Let's get to the questions. How do you feel about Princess Cassandra?

Horace: *grows pink* Um...I guess she's...pretty...

Me: And?

Horace: And...she's...nice...

Me: _And?_

Horace: And...I...like...her...

Me: Just as I expected.

Horace: What did you expect?

Me: Nothing.

Horace: You expected nothing?

Me: No, no, I meant _nothing. _As in, the conversation is over.

Horace: What?

Me: Keep it up and you'll be exactly like Will.

Horace: What's that supposed to mean?

Me: Never mind, young boy.

Horace: Hey, I'm not young, I'm—

Me: Have you ever felt guilty?

Horace: Yes.

Me: Explain.

Horace: How do you explain what being guilty feels like?

Me: No, no, no. Explain why you felt guilty.

Horace: Oh. Well, sometimes I feel guilty because I used to bully Will when we were younger.

Me: You used to bully Will?

Horace: *nods* But now were friends. That's why I feel guilty.

Me: Interesting. Would you like to tell the world anything _that's worth knowing?_

Horace: As a matter of fact, yes. I would like to tell the world that Rangers are epic. If I could, I'd be one.

Me: That's very nice, Mr. Horace. Thank you for allowing me to interview you.

Horace: No problem. Good day to you.

Me: *nods*

(Horace leaves interviewing room)

Me: Whew. At least one interview went well. *checks list* It looks like Alyss is next.


	5. Alyss

**Sorry for the exceptionally long wait, I was concentrating on Truth or Dare for some time. ;) Anyway, I wanted to jazz this story up; it would be sorta boring without something interesting happening. So...without further ado...I present, ALYSS'S INTERVIEW!**

**I like getting dramatic about little things. :D**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Ranger's Apprentice or any of its characters. John Flanagan (who, sadly, I am not) owns this wonderful series.**

**(Yes, I have finally decided to do that disclaimer thingy...)**

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_Alyss's Interview_

Me: Good morning, Alyss.

Alyss: Good morning.

Me: How do you feel about Will?

Alyss: I want him to propose to me. I know he wants to do it, but he just hasn't got the guts.

Me: *nods* That's very interesting. Do you, by any chance, know why Rangers are so...addicted to coffee?

Alyss: I always assumed they drank so much coffee because it gives them their energy. But coffee is bad if you drink too much, you know?

Me: Makes sense. So, do you— *suddenly ducks* Whoa, did you see that red thing that almost gave me a concussion?

Alyss: I most certainly did. *points to floor* It's an apple. I wonder why someone would throw an apple at you!

Me: It's very strange. Well, anyway, as I was saying, do you ever— *ducks* WHAT IS THAT RED THING? WHO IS THROWING IT!

(An annoyed neigh and snort come from backstage)

Alyss: *gasp* I think it's Tug!

Me: *eyes cross in confusion* Who the fudge is Tug?

Alyss: A horse! *rushes backstage*

Me: Why'd someone bring a horse backstage? Animals aren't allowed—

(An apple comes hurtling at the interviewer's head and bonks her square in the face)

Me: OUCH! Stop throwing apples! I'm innocent, I tell you! *gets up and goes backstage*

Alyss: (still backstage) Aww, poor Tug, you feel so lonely, don't you?

Me: *pokes head through backstage curtain* Alyss, I don't want to interrupt your nice little conversation with this horse, but we really need to get back to— *ducks* WOULD YOU STOP THROWING APPLES, TUG?

Alyss: He's just lonely and hungry.

Me: Then why would he throw the apples if he's hungry?

Alyss: Oh, little Tug here didn't throw the apples.

Me: Then who did?

Alyss: I don't know. But all I know is that Tug didn't throw them.

Me: Sounds like a mystery. But before we solve it, we must finish your interview...

(Another apple comes hurtling at interviewer)

Me: Okay. Never mind. We are going to solve this mystery, if it's the last thing I do...

Alyss: Don't say that.

Me: Why?

Alyss: It gives you bad thoughts.

Me: What are you talking about...?

Alyss: Never mind. It's just something Lady Pauline taught me.

Me: And why don't you give this horse an apple? So he won't stop acting like he's insane?

(Another apple is thrown at the interviewer)

Me: *whips around and acts like Nancy Drew* It came from over there! *points to door*

Alyss: How could an apple be thrown from there? It's a door. Apples can't go through doors. Did you see it open?

Me: I dunno. Let's check there.

Alyss: *gives Tug three apples* There now, boy. Will is going to be right back.

Me: Will brought the horse here?

Alyss: Of course. Tug is Will's horse. Hey, where did Will go anyway?

Me: He said he had to go to the restroom. Now that you mention it, he's been there a long time. I wonder...what if he doesn't know how to flush the toilet?

Alyss: *giggles*

Will: *calls from restroom* HOW DO YOU FLUSH THIS TOILET?

Alyss: Oh God.

Me: Haha. But where are the others?

Alyss: Over there. *points to waiting bench where Gilan, Horace, Halt, Cassandra, and the others are waiting for Will to get out of the restroom*

Me: Oh. So I wonder who's throwing the apples?

Alyss: Do you want me to check on Will?

Me: Um...

Alyss: Oh, right, it's a men's restroom, isn't it? *grows red*

Me: No, actually, it's a public restroom.

Alyss: Oh. I'll go...check on him then. Be right back. *heads toward restroom*

Me: *looks nervously at Tug* Umm...so...you like apples?

Tug: *makes no comment*

Me: Right. You can't talk. *taps clipboard professionally* Well, I must get ready for my next interview, with Princess Cassandra.

Alyss: *comes back looking nervous* Um...interviewer?

Me: Yes? Hurry up, your interviewing time is almost over.

Alyss: *sniffs* Will isn't in the bathroom.

Me: *rolls eyes* Who cares? We need to finish up this interview. Come on now.

(Alyss and interviewer enter interviewing room)

Me: What do you like best about your job?

Alyss: *sniffs* I...Pauline...*hiccups*...castle...

Me: You know you're being filmed right now, yes? The whole world is watching you right now.

Alyss: I'm just sad that...that...Will left. I mean, what if...if...he got...got l-lost? What if he's...d-dead?

Me: Now, now. Will isn't dead.

Alyss: Oh yeah? H-how do you explain him not being there when...when moments before we heard...heard him calling that he couldn't...flush the toilet? *sniffs and hiccups*

Me: *offers tissue* He probably just went outside for a breath of fresh air. You know guys, always trying to scare girls.

Alyss: *sniffs and glares* That's not like Will!

Me: _So much for an interview._

Alyss: Can I leave now? I'm not really in the mood for interviewing anymore.

Me: Oh, all right. Could you call Cassandra in for me? Thanks...

Me: (to the guy who's filming) Did you notice anything suspicious lately? Like anybody throwing apples or kidnapping a boy about Alyss's age?

Filming guy: Yes! There was an old man, probably in his sixties, that had a large bag full of round red things. I couldn't see what they were because I wasn't close enough but I saw he was throwing them in your direction. I couldn't tell you about it earlier because I had a camera problem to fix. But I have no idea about anybody kidnapping a boy.

Me: Oh, thanks! _I think he means Halt threw the apples!_

Filming guy: No problem.

Me: I can't believe Halt would do this...

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**I truthfully have no idea what is going to happen next, or why Halt would throw apples at the interviewer, but oh well. Reviews are to the highest degree prized. Thanks for reading. :)**


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